Dear Mr. Bean,
I feel compelled to write an open letter to you on behalf of my many friends who display a certain addiction to you. While I, myself, enjoy a cup of coffee on a regular basis, I have yet to experience all mood changes, productivity lapses, anti-social behavior incidents, temporary bouts of insanity, and other acts of tomfoolery attributed to the absence of your caffeine goodness. Others I know, however, are a different story.
There’s Mr. X who is quite perplexed at daily affairs without warm care.
There’s Mrs. Y who would rather die than live without you for a day or two.
There’s Mr. Zed who’s liable to lose his head if during a fight you should decide to take flight.
There’s Mrs. A, who just today, told me she was addicted as I had predicted.
There’s Mr. B who I never see without a mug of your warm drug.
There’s Mrs. C who would be quite irate without her brewed mate.
There’s Mr. D who, just like B, appears quite the scene without you, Mr. Bean
There’s Mrs. E who longs to be in your embrace during the rat race.
There’s Mr. F who seems bereft as he drowns the last sip of your soft nip.
There’s Mrs. G, a widow you see, who once drank tea but abandoned him for ye.
There’s Mr. H who with I can relate, he wonders aloud why your devotees are so avowed.
There’s Mrs. I who wishes she could be dry, your spell holds her tighter than any guy.
And finally there is Me, a gold card member you see, who is beyond your spell – I don’t need you I tell! I just wish that in time, I could drop all this rhyme. Without relying on your frequent aid!